🔗 Share this article

One Side: One Friend's Perspective

At times I'm recorded while having a meal. It's jarring to spot myself on her Instagram – it feels like a sudden shock.

A close companion of a decade, Marielle, labels herself the “creativity monarch”. It can be amusing for a bit, but it strains our relationship.

Being highly outgoing, there's a constant urge the need to record everything all the time. When we eat out, she says, “The camera eats first,” and snaps pictures with bright lighting, which makes me cringe. I don’t like it when strangers see her posing or filming – I experience secondhand embarrassment. It also frustrates me because the food gets cold.

She isn’t exactly an online personality yet, but she is trying to be. She makes vlogs about city life, a day in her life, and her styling career. Her content is good, I’ll give her that, but I don’t want to be involved. Sometimes I'm captured while dining, or just accompanying her. I’ll see myself on her Instagram afterwards, and it comes like a jumpscare: I might be bare-faced, making a strange expression or photographed mid-bite. It feels invasive.

She also expects me to film her at inconvenient times. Sometimes I'm in conversation to someone else, or we’ll just be hanging out in the street. The dynamic feels like our bond has transformed into me being her unpaid videographer. She could easily employ someone if she wanted professional shots. Upon mentioning my discomfort about this arrangement, she dismissed it. I've been invited to a couple of brand events, which were appreciated, but that doesn’t make up for all the energy I spend assisting her make content.

I’m grateful that Marielle has supported me with my career in design, but I don’t want our friendship to become just a ledger of exchanges. I don’t feel she's insincere or inauthentic, but sometimes it seems that if the camera is out, we will start performing in a way that makes us look good for her vlog.

She will say, “OK, look happy!” and record me smiling with someone. It feels forced. It's crucial her to recognize that our 10-year friendship still has boundaries. I enjoy spending time with her, but I also want to experience it without being filmed, altered, or shared for an viewers. I am not a accessory for her Instagram.

The Defence: The Content Creator's View

I want my friend to see that the content we produce together can get us an opportunity.

I am passionate about shooting content. It’s not just a hobby; it’s part of who I am. Producing content and documenting experiences online enables me to express myself and engage with people in novel forms.

I don’t see myself as a full influencer yet, but it's savvy to make money from your passions. I admire people on social platforms who execute that style of informal, self-made film-making.

Content creation is my interpretation of living actively: observing the nuances, sharing them with an viewership that values the craft behind it. I never intend to make my friend uneasy. Bringing her to professional gatherings was my way of offering access, providing her a chance to witness exclusive moments that could help her professional path too. That isn't blackmail, it's simply being realistic.

I’d still take her to these events even if she didn’t help me, but I want her to see the benefits the work we make together can get us: an opening. I understand not everyone enjoys being on camera, but sometimes unplanned moments is what makes content authentic. Being recorded occasionally is part and parcel of being my companion. I would delete anything she requested, but she has never asked yet.

I don't demand anybody to be my private videographer, but companions help each other in small ways. I thought filming a short video now and then would be fun for her. Innovation flourishes in partnership, and having my friend around makes projects energetic and pleasurable. I never force her to participate in anything, and I’d never intentionally embarrass her. But filming together occasionally is part of how I document our time together.

I cherish Beth’s friendship deeply and don’t want making videos to come between us. I’m willing to compromise: like asking before recording, and avoiding angles that might make her uncomfortable.

This isn’t about control, it’s about expressing my perspective while still respecting hers. Clearly making content is not a replacement for genuine friendship: it’s just part of how I experience life and I desire her to be involved in a way that’s enjoyable for both of us.

The Jury: Reader Opinions

Is it right for her to stop recording herself and Beth when they are socializing?

Nothing is more uncomfortable than having a companion point a camera at you. I get that it's her passion, but I wouldn't ask friends come to my work. Perhaps she can find influencer friends to create content with. With the uncertain future of technology, human connections are the only thing we have – don’t waste them!
A respondent, 25

When pursuing something as a career, you can’t ask your friends for assistance every time, even if they have helped previously. While she enjoys shooting, that doesn’t mean everyone around her is willing material. She must to honor Beth’s personal space.
Another reader, 26

She may enjoy producing videos and displaying her life publicly, but it isn't for everyone. It was kind she has helped her friend professionally, but she needs to hear what her friend desires.
Emma, 27

It seems like you care about each other, so hold on to that and make sure it’s the focus in your relationship. Foster some authentic memories, where true emotions are preserved, not digital scrapbooks. In fact, celebrities who seem to reveal their worlds actually have more secrecy than it seems.
Sarah, 53

She seems to be neither present nor authentic when they're together – she's on the job. Each appears unsure as to where the line is. The answer lies not in trying to alter one another, but in each setting defined boundaries around what feels acceptable to them and seeing if there is an acceptable compromise.
A final view, 71

Now You Be the Judge

In an online poll: is Marielle over-exposing their bond?